A last few days as a Doctor.

 

It feels weird to change the profession. It feels weirder that I never flaunted the tag. After all, was it not the big dream?

I don’t know. Being a doctor is a huge responsibility. People assume you are intelligent and well updated about the current medical advancements. People ask for your opinions. People send their children to get some inspiration from you. Patients look up to you, expecting miracles. Can you deliver? It is limited by a whole lot of variables. But you have to pretend to make your magic work.

I am going to miss it all. Well, I had decided to shift the profession a long time back. But now, when I am literally on the brink, I look back and reflect. Have I been a good doctor? I don’t know. Have I helped save lives? I guess I have, with the utmost restrained passivity with which I could have possibly done that. Over all, an average, i would sum it up to say,I did not do justice to the profession.

But it has taught me a lot. At a relatively young age, I have started taking some significant decisions. It has taught me how to talk with someone, how to behave with dignity, and most importantly, how to be a good human being.

People ask me, why I decide to leave the profession. I don’t have one possible answer. The only reason I can give, which might be the closest to the truth, is that I did not think the way a doctor is supposed to think. Medicine defies logic many a times. And logic ruled me. I need an answer to the ‘why’ which is answered by a fancy word ‘idiopathic’ in the fraternity.

May be I wasted a medical seat. Maybe I did not end up to be what my parents expected me to be. All I can say is, I am not done yet. It would be extremely vain to say, that I am destined for greatness. But I am definitely destined for something which was not this. So, without further ado, I bid farewell to being a doctor.  some day, if things are different, who knows, we will cross paths again! till then, Adios ! it was a good run!

Why women should be self sufficient: A guy's point of view.

“Being a woman is an expensive job. The thought came to me when I saw some age-reversal cream commercial where it was implied that a woman should start smearing their faces once a day past thirty. I said to myself, would a man care if he looks 23 or 32? frankly, can one guess the age of a man correctly? We all look the same to ourselves!

Then I started wondering about the other things women have brought upon themselves. The handbags for example. What in a handbag determines the price? The brand? The cow hide? I have no answer. And I was rendered even more speechless when I saw a LV handbag for $1000. can you imagine what it can buy in third world countries?

Clothes. Does a guy remember what his friend was wearing last time they were at a wedding together? No. we do not even remember what we were wearing that day. The only way we know that we have worn a shirt/ sock is by smelling it. So why do women need a different outfit for every occasion? I guess they can put that memory to some good use!

Diamonds, clothes, handbags, shoes. Women seem to have a penchant for dead investments. I don't blame them. People are entitled to have their opinions. People have a right to spend on whatever they feel like, as long as it does not cross the boundaries of legality. But how to justify things people buy where the worth:cost equation cannot work? Sensible people should draw their conclusions. If not, the trend would continue! And that is why my friends, I think that women empowerment is the need of the hour!”

-excerpts from an essay on Home Economics.

I have realised.

I have realised

We hurry, even when we have nowhere to go in particular.

People hate walking on the footpath.

The definition of success has abruptly changed from rich education to being rich.

People don’t take you seriously if you don’t bullshit.

Even friends have started making a small talk before asking for small favours.

There are no longer mud castles built in Diwali.

There is no minimum and a maximum to the requirements for life.

Strength is not at all related to proportion.

People use smileys excessively.

The definitions and perception of everything are changing.

Human values are often scorned upon.

When it comes to a shitty deal, it is always you at the receiving end, even though the statistics say that the probability decreases by the second.

Unity is a decoration.

I have become lazier.

There is no right or wrong. all that is, is in various shades of grey.

I have started to suck at this.

Exasperation

The night is often darkest before dawn. I hope it is true. The past year has easily been the bleakest year for India. Shamefully nomenclated ‘The Year of Scams.’

I don’t know what is more disheartening. The perfidious bureaucracy, the apathetic Junta, the impotent justice system, or the insouciant government. Money, which could have been used for some common good was instead either silently pocketed or squandered without a thought. CWG is a burning example.

‘My conscience is clear’ has been the mantra of everyone exposed in these scams. what about actions? And how long are we going to sit and discuss it like it was something not affecting us? Has getting ripped off become a habit? Are we enjoying this buggery?

Is there a spirit of unity left between us? What binds us these days? Are we a nation of sluggards who are incapable of rising to an occasion? or have we turned into escapists who turn a deaf eye and ear to the things going around us? Are we a nation of brave humans who would brace any harm to defend the country, or are we a nation of sewer rats who would be the first ones to abandon the sinking ship?

I cannot answer the questions. because over a period of time, i have come to understand the truth: There is nothing white or black. all that is, is in different shades of gray.

But, then again, i take it as a good thing. If I am both a warrior and a coward, all it would take is to lose one trait. it is far more easier than imbibing a new quality altogether. This diatribe might seem without a focus. but the essence is the same.

‘How much more are we going to endure without putting on a fight.’

In conclusion, all I can say is that I hope is when we take a united stand, it should not be too late. neither should a calamity force us to do so.

friendship equation.

You outgrow friends.

I know, a bad start for a post. But then, there are certain facts which we like to use an euphemism for. This is one of them.

Throughout life, we come across people we take a liking for. We either see a part of ourselves in them or a part of what we want to be… And we call them friends. But as we grow, we change. Our ideas change. Our perceptions about ourselves as well as others change. And suddenly we look for some different set of qualities or vices in some other people.

And so, the best friend from our childhood may not be the best friend when you are in college, who again may not be the best friend later on.

I attended a wedding recently. Amongst my friends there, I was one of the few who were changing the field of expertise. And then it dawned on me, that I did not have anything to discuss with a majority of them. And it became awkward after some time.

But then, the good thing is, when you outgrow a friendship, that does not necessarily mean that you stop being friends. I console myself that in future when I meet these people, I would at least get a warm smile, and a genuine interest about my present. In recent times, it is a cheerful thing to get!

Then again, there are some new people to befriend! Some new insights about who I really am. But I am not in a hurry. past was beautiful, about the future, i am optimistic! after all, cruising life as it comes is the most beautiful way to enjoy the journey.