It feels weird to change the profession. It feels weirder that I never flaunted the tag. After all, was it not the big dream?
I don’t know. Being a doctor is a huge responsibility. People assume you are intelligent and well updated about the current medical advancements. People ask for your opinions. People send their children to get some inspiration from you. Patients look up to you, expecting miracles. Can you deliver? It is limited by a whole lot of variables. But you have to pretend to make your magic work.
I am going to miss it all. Well, I had decided to shift the profession a long time back. But now, when I am literally on the brink, I look back and reflect. Have I been a good doctor? I don’t know. Have I helped save lives? I guess I have, with the utmost restrained passivity with which I could have possibly done that. Over all, an average, i would sum it up to say,I did not do justice to the profession.
But it has taught me a lot. At a relatively young age, I have started taking some significant decisions. It has taught me how to talk with someone, how to behave with dignity, and most importantly, how to be a good human being.
People ask me, why I decide to leave the profession. I don’t have one possible answer. The only reason I can give, which might be the closest to the truth, is that I did not think the way a doctor is supposed to think. Medicine defies logic many a times. And logic ruled me. I need an answer to the ‘why’ which is answered by a fancy word ‘idiopathic’ in the fraternity.
May be I wasted a medical seat. Maybe I did not end up to be what my parents expected me to be. All I can say is, I am not done yet. It would be extremely vain to say, that I am destined for greatness. But I am definitely destined for something which was not this. So, without further ado, I bid farewell to being a doctor. some day, if things are different, who knows, we will cross paths again! till then, Adios ! it was a good run!
