Exasperation

The night is often darkest before dawn. I hope it is true. The past year has easily been the bleakest year for India. Shamefully nomenclated ‘The Year of Scams.’

I don’t know what is more disheartening. The perfidious bureaucracy, the apathetic Junta, the impotent justice system, or the insouciant government. Money, which could have been used for some common good was instead either silently pocketed or squandered without a thought. CWG is a burning example.

‘My conscience is clear’ has been the mantra of everyone exposed in these scams. what about actions? And how long are we going to sit and discuss it like it was something not affecting us? Has getting ripped off become a habit? Are we enjoying this buggery?

Is there a spirit of unity left between us? What binds us these days? Are we a nation of sluggards who are incapable of rising to an occasion? or have we turned into escapists who turn a deaf eye and ear to the things going around us? Are we a nation of brave humans who would brace any harm to defend the country, or are we a nation of sewer rats who would be the first ones to abandon the sinking ship?

I cannot answer the questions. because over a period of time, i have come to understand the truth: There is nothing white or black. all that is, is in different shades of gray.

But, then again, i take it as a good thing. If I am both a warrior and a coward, all it would take is to lose one trait. it is far more easier than imbibing a new quality altogether. This diatribe might seem without a focus. but the essence is the same.

‘How much more are we going to endure without putting on a fight.’

In conclusion, all I can say is that I hope is when we take a united stand, it should not be too late. neither should a calamity force us to do so.

friendship equation.

You outgrow friends.

I know, a bad start for a post. But then, there are certain facts which we like to use an euphemism for. This is one of them.

Throughout life, we come across people we take a liking for. We either see a part of ourselves in them or a part of what we want to be… And we call them friends. But as we grow, we change. Our ideas change. Our perceptions about ourselves as well as others change. And suddenly we look for some different set of qualities or vices in some other people.

And so, the best friend from our childhood may not be the best friend when you are in college, who again may not be the best friend later on.

I attended a wedding recently. Amongst my friends there, I was one of the few who were changing the field of expertise. And then it dawned on me, that I did not have anything to discuss with a majority of them. And it became awkward after some time.

But then, the good thing is, when you outgrow a friendship, that does not necessarily mean that you stop being friends. I console myself that in future when I meet these people, I would at least get a warm smile, and a genuine interest about my present. In recent times, it is a cheerful thing to get!

Then again, there are some new people to befriend! Some new insights about who I really am. But I am not in a hurry. past was beautiful, about the future, i am optimistic! after all, cruising life as it comes is the most beautiful way to enjoy the journey.

I still got it!

When I was 22, I was cocksure about a lot of things. My hair( I never had dandruff), my vision ( I could read something miles apart), my teeth ( I used to open up beers for people), my ability to be a tankard ( I could drink as much as I wanted and still be sober). I was even cocky about my cockiness! I guess that is an age when you feel you are Unbeatable.

Four years later, I was in for a series of jolts. I think I have a bald spot now. I got a prescription for my eyes. I underwent a root canal, i can barely down three drinks without feeling nauseated. My cockiness reduced hundred folds. But instead of being replaced by wisdom which age is supposed to bring, it was replaced by fear of failure.

But then, life is not a simple equation of X and Y. it is complex, tangled, but most importantly, never a straight line. So, it happened. I met someone fantastic who did not fill me up with a false hope but boosted me up with confidence. I met a wonderful dentist who fixed my tooth. I can boast about my good vision again, albeit with glasses. And then i realized that the other things don’t matter much!

No moral of the story. Just realized, I still got it!

Writing was a vent..

Too much bottled up in the past year, to the point of mild indifference..

But had to write today..

And the reason is, the day was eventless. no trigger, no provocation.

Just remembered the old times and thought, ha, what the heck. I have to do something in order to prevent my grey matter from turning to mortar.

so this series of senseless sentences, which would make sense to very few..

But the bottom line is, M back!